Life disappointment (._.")

I had an interview with a company and position I like during the end of February and at the same time an unknown company requested permission to view my resume and arranged for an interview. I didn't have much feeling in it hence I didn't have the spirit to perform well. I've no idea if this is fortunate or unfortunate, ironically, I got the job and the one I liked didn't come back as promised. 

I always have insufficient self confident when it comes to interview or introducing myself to others. I might not be good or I can say I'm bad in it. Initially, when I had the interview with the company I delighted, I didn't put too much hope because I wouldn't like any sort of great disappointment. Although this is the case but I did my best to perform and show the hiring manager what I have. The interview moment was just like any other interviews, hiring manager wouldn't hint or give any hope to the candidate. They are always very careful with their words. It was towards the end during the conversation we had, I sense something different. I waited for a call from them as promised but unfortunately it didn't happen. I was very disappointed and sadly I have to accept the job offer I dislike. 

I emailed and called them but still there wasn't any response. I know I should take it as a 'no' and move on with the one offered, I'm just disappointed because I didn't get the one that gives me the best feeling. Even the manager gave me great feeling. I'm upset that my best effort were thwarted. Well, I suppose this is just another experience in life.

A thinking often strikes me, if mom is here during my unemployment period will I even care to be employed? At least it will make this period happier and less worries because as long as she is here nothing else matters.